You Can't Get Down, Can You?
by extraoctaven
Summary: "Raven," Octavia nearly growls, snapping Raven's attention back to her, back to her horse. "We have to go."
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"Miller rides a couple hundred feet in front of them, Jasper cradled against his body. Raven watches as he commands his horse to stop, giving her and Octavia the space they needed without leaving them to fend for themselves. She marvels in the way that Miller just emknew/em. He knew that something was wrong and trotted off on the horse not a moment later. /p
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;""Raven," Octavia nearly growls, snapping Raven's attention back to her, back to her horse. "We have to emgo/em."/p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"Raven shifts her weight subconsciously, favoring her good leg. Her fingers brush against the cool metal of her brace but she quickly yanks them back a second later, the brace suddenly scalding. "I know," Raven tries, voice as solid as her body will let it be. She makes no effort to move to get onto the horse. That's all she gives Octavia. Really, it's all she can give herself./p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"Octavia sighs, eyes slipping shut. Raven can almost feel her frustration. "We have to go," she reiterates. Her eyes open again, connecting with Raven's. "Jasper's going to bleed out."/p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;""I know," Raven repeats. She wants to scream. Yes, Octavia, I know we have to go and No, Octavia, I can't get on the horse. But she won't tell Octavia that. Octavia doesn't have to know that Raven's fighting off tears as they speak, the weight of her own body nearly too much for her leg to bear. Octavia doesn't have to know that Raven can only think about her pain, her pain, and nothing but her pain. Octavia doesn't have to know that Raven used to be a Zero-G mechanic who did repairs in record time who now can't even will her body to rear a horse. Octavia doesn't need to know. Nobody needs to know./p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;""You can't get up," Octavia states, suddenly. Her eyes are softer now, more subdued. She sighs, eyes darting down to Raven's brace. "It's your leg."/p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;""I know," Raven mutters for the third time, fingers curling around the metal of her brace. /p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;""Okay," Octavia nods. "Okay, we can do this."/p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"Octavia slides off of her horse in one swift, fluid motion that causes envy to bubble in Raven's stomach. If only. /p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;""Octavia," Raven tries, eyes glistening slightly. "Don't tell anyone, yeah? Gotta keep my reputation up."/p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"She hopes the joke isn't as cringe worthy as it feels. What would they think of her? The great Raven Reyes, the space walker. The great Raven Reyes, the bomb builder. The great Raven Reyes, who helped burned 300 warriors alive. The great Raven Reyes, emcrying/em. /p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"Octavia doesn't respond to her, not really. Her fingers brush over her forearm deliberately, lingering for a second with all the unspoken words that Raven needs. "We can do this," Octavia whispers. /p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"And then a second later, Octavia's pushing her up onto the horse, stiffening slightly when Raven cries out in pain. Raven's hands fasten onto the horse's saddle, pulling up with her entire strength. It hurts, god, Raven emhurts/em, but she pulls up harder. She knows that they're sitting ducks if they continue to stay here. She doesn't want Jasper to die./p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"When Raven's finally is on top of the horse, her breath heaves. She's bent forward, face pressed into the horse's mane as she sucks in all the air she can, eyes screwed tight. "Thanks," she manages, sitting up, making room for Octavia. "I, eh- I owe you one."/p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"Octavia nods and mounts the horse in record time, slipping in front of Raven so easily it almost isn't fair. Raven would have cared if her body didn't ache so badly. /p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;""You know, I'm here, Raven," Octavia reveals as she kicks her steed into motion. Raven's arms wrap around her waist to steady herself, her nose pressing into Octavia's hair. "I mean what I said. You don't have to bear this alone. We can do this together."/p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"It's Raven's turn to nod, now. For a second, all her pain is gone. Her leg doesn't hurt, her body doesn't ache, and she isn't wearing a brace. /p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;""Yeah, O. Thanks."/p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"They catch up to Miller and ride back to camp. Raven doesn't let Octavia know how badly each trot of the horse hurt but she figured that Octavia could hear her grunting against her body. The two of them are silent, though, other than the sounds that Raven makes. So is Miller. They all have things on their mind./p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"Jasper moans in pain. /p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"emMe too, buddy/em, Raven wants to tell I feel your pain/em. /p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"She did. She really did. How many times has she wanted what Jasper has been able to accomplish in seconds? Death, relief. He smiled against the blade as it pressed against his neck and it kind of scared Raven because she understands. She understands emcompletely/em. /p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;""We're almost there," Octavia says suddenly. "Hang on, yeah?"/p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"Raven nods dumbly. "Yeah."/p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"They're at camp a second later. People aren't there to greet them. Octavia dismounts the horse and hurries toward Jasper. /p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;""Jasper's hurt! What took you so long?"/p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"Raven nearly laughs. Jasper's been hurt for three long months. What took you so long was fair. /p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"Abby's there to greet them moments later. Jasper gets rushed off to medical. It's all a blur. Raven's still on top of the horse when Octavia hops down. /p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"Once Jasper's taken care of, Abby approaches her. "Clarke?" she asks, hopeful. /p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"Raven shakes her head. All they managed to do was nearly get Jasper killed./p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;""Do you want me to take them?" Octavia asks. Her eyes ask a different question. emDo you want me to help you?/em/p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;""It's okay," Raven forces, defensive. She regrets it as soon as it comes out of her mouth. She needed help. She needed a friend. She missed Clarke, too. "I'll bring her."/p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"Octavia lingers a second too long before she nods, head dropping as she drags her horse toward the stables. /p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"When Abby asks, she feels like crying. "You can't get down, can you?"/p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"No. She shakes her head as it bows. /p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;""Okay, come here." Abby holds her arms out like she's a child and Raven wishes she had gone with Octavia, with Jasper. She reaches for Abby nonetheless./p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;""Thanks," she grits out when she's on her two feet again. She doesn't look Abby in the eye. Maybe then she wouldn't see how close she was to crying./p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;""Raven-"/p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;""I'm good," she growls./p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"She takes the horse and gets away as fast as her body will let her. It isn't very fast. The horse nays and Raven realizes that it has a slice in it's thigh. Maybe it was in pain. It probably wouldn't have been able to get down, either. /p  
p style="color: #51535e; font-family: 'Franklin Gothic Book'; font-size: 11px;"emMe too, buddy, /emshe finds herself thinking againem. I feel your pain./em/p 


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